Women are not half as complicated as men are. Men have complex thought patterns that you can only understand when you are entirely open to experiencing the most incredible of things. They have beautiful minds, and the good part is that they are willing to let you be a part of that. However, to gain access, you either need to be extremely lucky or be precisely the kind of person he expects you to be.
I know. How can any girl be the perfect version of a man’s dream girl? I have got news for you. I asked a few men about what they expect from women that they swear they never share with anyone and packaged all their 11 expectations in this blog in the easiest manner possible for your understanding.
There’s no need to feel intimidated because these are nothing that every woman can’t do. You don’t need to be a superwoman to meet all these expectations. But you would surely become your man’s superwoman once you start applying all these secrets to your relationship. Dive in!
1. Give the ultimate advice
Do you think all men want to feel superior in their relationships? Well, think again. Because one of the primary things that men look for in their significant other is their ability to outsmart them. They love a woman whom they can approach whenever they face a crisis and expect the ultimate solution to all their problems. Remember how you have been told that men prioritise a woman’s appearance as her greatest asset above all? That’s rarely true now that everyone is so completely emotionally wrecked and need someone to hold on.
Men, too, seek meaningful conversations. They expect their woman to understand their thoughts and guide them in the right direction. And any man who sees a future with you would always come to you for your opinions about whatever he is doing.
Men truly expect you to be their ‘significant other!’
2. Be optimistic in life or at least try to be
Men like being your punching bag. They love the fact that you trust him so much as to fall back on him whenever need be. And trust me, they are more than willing to hear everything that went wrong in your day. However, don’t abuse this benefit.
Women who crib about their lives constantly and keep telling men how they are about to give up, end up being resentful in men’s eyes. Sure, they know that you are going through a rough time, but that does not mean that you quit seeing the silver lining.
Learn to positive in life. Be the one that he looks up to when he feels low to gain courage and motivation. Seeing you optimistic and happy about what you do, will keep him pumped up throughout the day. By just being positive toward your problems, you would make his day.
3. Spend enough time together but give some space without being asked for it
Probably said by almost every other relationship blog practically a million times before, give your man space. He needs to see other people, too, without feeling guilty about leaving you alone for one night. Now, this does not mean that you would guilt-trip him for leaving you on your own. When he makes plans with his friends, assure him that you are okay with him having some solo fun without you because you would not be sulking in your bed either.
Tell him what you plan to do when he is away so, he knows that you are not lonely without him. And even if you are not going to do anything, lie. Do the things that you have been wanting to do without him such as watch a movie that you have wanted to for a year, and he would jokingly judge you for it or learn to cook something new. You can do anything for the house is your playground for the night.
However, don’t forget to call him off when he is going away way too much. Men tend to lose control and not realise that they are going out more than they should. Telling him this upfront would not ruin your relationship. He would understand it. Men are smart creatures.
4. Be you rather than the internet version of yourself
OMG, lit, LMAO, vibe, etc., are words that look good in the comment section or on the Instagram captions only. And there is no harm in following the trend. The real problem starts when you use them IRL. (See what I did there? That seemed awkward, didn’t it?) If it does not look good even in blogs, why do you think the words “OMG, we totally vibed, tho!” would sound good when you utter them?
Men expect women to be real. You see we are all divas on social media. We look breath-taking in those awesome filters. But would you be with someone who has an arrow-struck filter on their face? No! So, why do you think anybody would put up with your internet slang-filled language?
The truth is you can be an animal activist on social media, but your man knows that you are a hardcore non-vegetarian. You can be the funniest person when uploading memes online, but your man knows how much of low self-esteem you have when you are alone. You can be Mother Teresa on your Instagram stories, but he knows that you would beat the hell out of your ex-best friend before entertaining the thought of forgiving her. So, if he knows it all, why not be the real you instead of showing him that side of you that everyone who follows you know. There is nothing special about that.
5. Ditch the filters when taking selfies
Dogs are cute. But they are cute because they are so different from what humans are. And that is why those dog filters look so ridiculous on people. Same goes for every other filter. The floral crown filter that shrinks down the fat on your face and makes it appear thinner? Ditch that, too.
I don’t mean to sound bitter, but this is how men feel when they see their woman upload their selfies using these filters. They want to see you the way you look. Men prefer women’s naturally flawed skin, their unique complexion and their lovely smile that makes their day. In fact, you can DM him your goofy pictures when he is at work, and he would admire it more than your other photoshopped images.
6. Be intellectually challenging to him
You know when you beat him at Scrabble, and he blames you for cheating? He secretly admires that quality in you. He loves it when you whip his butt and challenge his brain. You would think that he enjoys hanging out with his friends because he feels so smart in their company, but the truth is that he loves spending time with you even more than he does with his friends because he thinks he gets to learn from you.
7. Be approachable, accessible and easy to talk to BUT not with everyone
Women tend to take “I don’t like talking to people” a bit too far. They become rude and make fun of people who approach them or even wish to be friends with them. Now, I know this because we want to ensure our safety, but we can dial it down a notch. Instead of being so hostile all the time, learn to be nice. This means even if someone offers you a drink at a restaurant, rather than telling them where to put it, politely refuse.
Men love to see women in control. They like to know that their woman can take care of herself even when they would not be around. But this does not mean that you are nice to everyone. If someone is trying to take your niceness for granted, stand up and show them where they can put it.
Confused? Well, just keep in mind that you should be nice to his people and other innocent humans who don’t appear to have malevolent intentions. To all the other people, well, you know it better, ladies!
8. Understand his referential jokes
See how his face lights up when you understand his references? Drawing from my personal experience, I never followed any of my boyfriend’s references when we first got into a relationship, and that disappointed him very much. But I saw fireworks in his eyes when I got his Harry Potter reference for the first time. After that, we sort of just read each other’s mind now.
You should know that “sawaal ek, jawab do” is from Andaz Apna Apna and that you must reply it with “sawaal jawab, sawaal jawab. Chup! Lambi khamoshi” and “dekha dekha?” should be followed with “nahin dekha re, uske dekhne se pehle hi maine utha liya.” Also, if you find yourself in a “heads main jeeta, tails tu haara” situation with him, abort mission. He is way too smart!
9. Give compliments whenever possible
It is not just a man’s duty to shower you with compliments whenever you dress up or in that case, dress down *wink wink* so, make sure that you do your part and make him feel special, too. Tell him how nicely you think he is carrying his watch and that you love the fact that he shaved to go out on a date with you.
Compliments are like small reinforcements for men. It helps them to learn something new as well as repeat it the next time. You would quickly notice a difference in his behaviour when you would encourage him to do something by complimenting him. But you would not see it if you yell at him. What matters is that you make him feel good by complimenting him every chance you get. Even though he is a man, he loves to hear someone appreciate him for something that he has done.
10. Don’t question his ability to provide for you
Not all but some women do have this tendency of questioning their man’s ability to take care of her. While you may have good intentions behind doing this, it is something that can quickly bring your man’s morale down. Asking him this would make him feel insecure about his capabilities and talent. This is especially true for those men who belong to the creative industry.
Remember that you are his pillar. Imagine how he would feel if you would question his abilities to provide for you. Have faith in him. He knows what he is doing so, let him be. Honestly, he thinks about taking care of you more than you do. Men always wish for a family for whom they can be responsible. So, if ever he feels that he is not able to take care for you, he would approach you for help. But you need to let him initiate it instead of jumping him.
11. Allow him to speak to you like you are his best friend first
Yes, you are his significant other, but he expects you to be his best friend first. If he is spending most of his free time with you, that means he needs you to be someone that he can confide in so that he can talk to you about how he feels about certain things. So, if you don’t be that person, he would have no one to talk to, which would truly upset him.
Things to keep in mind when you are his best friend and not his girlfriend –
- Don’t judge. If he tells you that he inebriated so much that he got an enormous hangover, don’t make him feel like he is the worst person alive. Reason with him.
- Listen! Some more! And then some more! You can talk all you want when it is your time, but when you are his best friend, let him be the one to talk.
- Don’t jump to biased conclusions. Even if you know where all his thoughts are rooting from, ask him if he knows what is triggering his thoughts. Only tell him if he asks you.
Now that you know what men expect from women don’t keep all this good stuff to yourself. Share this with your fellow women to make their lives a little easier. Gather all your lady friends. You never know you might just save a relationship!