People who are habitual liars are extremely good at hiding their true feelings. It is difficult to even tell if they are really lying or actually telling the truth. But that does not mean there is no way to know it. You are safe because we have got you covered! We are not talking about small and harmless lies. Everyone tells them and it is okay because no one gets hurt. Instead, we are going to discuss the lies that can affect your relationship, and probably even ruin them. Those are the ones to look out for.
No matter how great and experienced a liar your partner is, they are sure to leave some hints of their lies. And that is when you can catch the liar. Here are 25 things that your partner will do when they are lying to you. And there is at least one sign that your partner will show out of all these. Let us get to work!
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1. They overcompensate for everything they do
Get ready for some surprises and several grand gestures. Your partner is going to do everything in their power to overcompensate. They will begin to make you feel like you are the ultimate human being. You may even start believing that they are the best boyfriend/girlfriend in this world. And that will fulfil their motive. Your partner will try to distract you with their grand gestures so that you don’t sense that they are doing something wrong. It is easier to notice something is fishy if there are no distractions and you are living your usual routine.
2. Their answers are really vague and breezy
Your partner will rarely give you the right answers to your question. No matter how easy and straight forward your questions are, you would never get a straight answer. Your question could be as simple as “what did you do today?” and the answer that you would get would be something extremely vague. It will feel like they are trying to be incredibly careful about what they say to you because one slip of the tongue can cost them their relationship with you. Your partner will usually choose to answer in one word or construct as small a sentence as possible. The sentences will be quite generic and something that will cut the conversation altogether.
3. They make it seem like it is all in your head
You are likely to hear sentences like “I won’t dignify that question with an answer” or “I can’t believe you are asking me this” if your partner is lying to you. The intention is to make your suspicion seem baseless. Your partner will straight up ridicule you when you confront them. Be prepared to be called ‘crazy’ and ‘psycho.’ And if push comes to shove, you will also get to see a guest appearance of your partner’s evil alter ego. They will become defensive, rude and their tone will become accusatory. Don’t be surprised if by the end of it you begin to feel that you are in the wrong. That is the exact intent of your partner.
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4. You get to witness the use of a ton of incomplete sentences
Have you ever heard of sentence fragments? You might have used them but probably don’t know them by its name. You will notice that your partner is not completing his sentences and therefore, never getting to the end of the story. They will speak in incomplete sentences that wouldn’t make complete sense because they would neither have verbs nor definitive structures. You might also find them using fewer or no pronouns at all. Instead of using “he/she, him/her,” they would repeatedly use the names of the characters in their story.
Something like, “I met Rajesh. Then Rajesh and I went out to dine. Rajesh had to leave early because he got a call so Rajesh and I took a cab home.” Get it?
5. They can’t complete the story in reverse
You can’t tell a story properly that is not yours. That is exactly what this is. Your partner can’t tell their lie in reverse because they have not lived through it in the first place. So if you have a great memory or are penning down their every word, you will catch them within minutes. It does not mean that you would keep doubting your partner. But when you have reasonable facts to justify your suspicion, be prepared to put your pen to the paper. Also, try asking your partner random questions about something they said some time ago while telling their story. And watch them falter!
6. Similarly, the tone and voice change
Our tone changes from situation to situation and person to person. Your partner’s pitch may rise or drop significantly when they are lying to you. They would find it difficult to maintain their normal scale of speech. Their tone may become more commanding if they are trying to make you feel like it is all in your head. And it will be calm and composed if they are trying to maintain a low profile around you. In this case, they will also avoid fighting or arguing with you and accept everything you say.
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7. There is a shift in the direction in which their eyes move
Several studies on human behaviour suggest that humans tend to look to their right when they lie. But this is only true for the right-handed people. It is quite the opposite for the left-handed people. They tend to look to their left when they lie. According to the studies, looking to the right (right-handed people) and left (left-handed people) allow people to construct an imaginary tale. Although there are some psychologists that have dismissed this theory, some continue to believe it. In any case, our eyes speak louder than our words. Probably even louder than our actions. So pay attention to your partner’s eye movements when you confront them.
8. They use more gestures than usual
It is a well-known fact that people use more hand gestures when they are not entirely confident about their content. The hand gestures help them to distract the other person from paying attention to only their speech. That is because you have a higher chance of not believing them when you are only paying attention to what they are saying. The hand gestures add more credibility to their story. So watch out for those.
9. They give too many or too few details
Your partner will give out way too many details about their story to make it more credible. This is another way of overcompensating for their guilt. But doing that also helps them remember their story. On the contrary, your partner may also resort to telling you as little about the story as possible to avoid questions. They may also do this to lower their guilt of lying to you.
10. There is a lot of face touching
There are many psychologists who have conducted numerous experiments to see if this is true and they have confirmed that people touch their face when they lie. Your partner will touch their face more than a few times while talking to you because their brain signals them to hide their face or ‘protect’ it. Not that they are worried about getting hit in the face by you. But that is how the human brain works. It protects the most vulnerable first.
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11. Your partner would seem to have a lump in their throat… Suddenly
You know how Vance Joy said, “I got a lump in my throat ’cause you’re gonna say the words wrong?” Yea, not sure if he was singing about a lying partner. But it indeed was the truth.
If your partner is lying to you, you would see them gulping down their fear. They will swallow the lump in their throat as frequently as after every sentence. You will also see them clearing their throat as if they just drank a gallon of oil. Clearing throat is a sign of fright and nervousness. That is enough sign to confirm that your partner is lying.
12. They move their head just before speaking
Moving your head is considered to be an act of defence. Your partner may move their head to protect themselves from a potential threat. It does not have to be a physical threat necessarily. It could be a mental or emotional threat, too. Your partner will also pull their head back, which is yet another sign of defence. Furthermore, they may also lower their gaze to display their shame or indignity. Lastly, head movements are also a sign of a submissive attitude. It is like giving up before the enemy kills them. Have no doubt because in this case, you are their enemy.
13. Their body forces them to walk away… Literally
If your partner is lying to you, they may walk too much instead of standing in just one place. It is just a way of improving the credibility of their story. It is like commanding the room by occupying it. But there is another meaning to this. Your partner may have shuffling feet because of the nervousness. Since they are doing something that is discouraged in society, their brain will not want to be part of the situation. As a result, it will try to drag them out of the conversation by literally forcing them to walk away from you. So you may witness your partner storming out of the room or house and even physical distance themselves from you.
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14. They blink less and point more
People tend to blink when they are uncomfortable. A liar is usually aware that they are lying. And they don’t want you to catch them, so they make sure they eliminate or control their senses as much as possible. If you see your partner staring at you most peculiarly, they are lying to you. They don’t want you to think that they are not comfortable with the lie, so they avoid blinking. Similarly, they will point at things to recall their train of thoughts. That will help them remember as well as buy them some time to think of the next sentence.
15. There is an increase in their use of transition words
Transition words are words that are used to fill the gap between two phrases or sentences. Words like therefore, however, in order to, and eventually are a few examples of transition words. There are also Hindi equivalents of these. An average human being does not regularly use these words when speaking. We use general sentences and words. We also use fewer filler words like um, uh, so and like. Your partner will use more transition and filler words when they are lying because they will try to connect their thoughts or lies. Just like the blinking and pointing, this also allows them to buy some time to think of the next lie.
16. There is less physical contact
You never want to touch someone when you are lying to them. Touching them makes you feel guilty. It suddenly makes you realise that they are human. And no matter how big a jerk you are, you never want to hurt another human being. Unless you are a serial killer!
Your partner will avoid touching you and probably even maintain a distance. It is like saying they won’t breathe the same air as you. Not only that but also they will avoid making any eye contact. Eye contacts also make them uncomfortable. Moreover, a person’s eyes are a gateway into a person’s soul. And a normal human can’t lie to someone like that.
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17. They seem to fidget with their hair
They say that people tend to fidget with their hair when they are talking to someone that they like. But don’t be fooled if they do the same while talking to you. They are not showing you their love or anything. They are actually lying to you. Fidgeting is also a sign of discomfort. Your partner will try to touch their hair and several other things. It is because they are trying to find something to hold on to. They need something that they can rely on. The lie is so massive that they need to feel something to release the weight. It is similar to holding a teddy bear when you are feeling a little overwhelmed or emotionally weak.
18. You find them constantly tapping their feet
Just one word – anxiety! Almost 40 million people in the world suffer from anxiety today. But this seems to be too low. Look around you and you will see that every person has some kind of anxiety. It may be social anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and even post-traumatic stress disorder.
There are chances that your partner suffers from one of these, too. So when they are lying to you, you might see them tapping their feet, shaking their leg, or biting their lips. People who already have anxiety may get more nervous while lying and respond to their guilt through physical manifestations.
19. They wrap their arms around themselves
People don’t like to be exposed when they are lying. So you will always see them putting their hands in their pocket or at the back or even sinking their head in their shoulders. These are all ways of defending oneself. Similarly, your partner may cross their arms or wrap their arms around themselves. Like they are giving themselves a hug. It is not to show how much they love themselves. They do this to place an intangible barrier in front of them. Sometimes, your partner may even place a physical barrier in front of them while they are lying to you as a sign of defence.
20. They avoid talking about it entirely
Try asking your partner about something you think they are lying. Not only will their expressions change but they will avoid the topic completely. For example, one of my ex-partners used to become extremely restless whenever we spoke about someone cheating on someone. Guess what? He had cheated on his ex and his guilt overtook him every time he heard someone cheated on their partner, even if it was a celebrity. And whenever I asked him about his opinion on the topic, he avoided the subject as if he were dodging a bullet.
21. Your partner’s body posture changes
I attended a seminar on personality development once and there we were told that people tend to alter their body posture when they are uncomfortable. Their mind starts to find an alternate pose to suit their state of mind. And that is when you will see them constantly changing their stance or posture. It can be applied to lying, as well. Since the lie makes your partner uncomfortable, they tend to alter their body posture.
Your partner may slouch or hunch. Besides, they may even tilt to one side of their body by putting pressure on either one of their legs. They may also keep their hands behind their back to hide their awkwardness.
22. You hear a lot of “trust me”s in the conversation
Your partner isn’t stupid. They are well aware of their behaviour, and they know that they are lying to you. So they know that you will find it difficult to buy into their lies. Because they will never buy into someone else’s lies.
People are smart. We know a liar when we see one. And liars know it when their lies are caught. That is why they make extra efforts to convince you and make you believe them. Asking you to “trust them” not just makes you trust them, but it also makes them feel that they are not doing anything wrong.
23. They have sweat lines around their eyebrows
It is true what they show in the movies. Your forehead does sweat when you lie. And when it sweats too much, the perspiration begins to trickle downwards. Eventually, it gets accumulated around your eyebrows.
Pay attention to your partner’s eyebrows and overall forehead. You will find them sweating if they are lying. It does not matter how good a liar your partner is. Lying makes people nervous. The nervousness induces sweat. It is because no one is comfortable with a lie, especially when they are the source of it. Nobody likes to have guilt in their conscious. So sweating is the perfect sign to look out for when you think your partner may be lying to you.
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24. There is either excessive panic or unusual calmness
You will always find people who are lying to have extreme emotional manifestations. They are too hyper. If your partner has anxiety issues, they may raise their voice or act out aggressively. In fact, you can immediately spot out your partner’s lie if they have anxiety or they panic easily. They may also be hyper if they are trying to neutralise the impact of their lies. They want to believe that there is something even worse than their lie.
Similarly, you may also see your partner acting incredibly calm. It is because they are so uncomfortable and anxious while lying that they realise that you might see it, too. And so they overcompensate here yet again.
25. They repeatedly ask the same question and repeat their sentences
Remember how we discussed how using transition and filler words allows the liar to buy some time to remember the lies? This is another trick that your partner uses to lie to you. If you notice that your partner is saying stuff like “what did you just say?” or “sorry, I didn’t get you. What was that again?” they may be lying to you.
You ask them what they were doing with their colleague alone at 2 a.m., and they will stutter, fumble, and whatnot. But you would hardly get one straight answer from them. They will keep repeating their story from the beginning to remember their lies.