When Titanic was sinking, we all were hoping so badly that Jack and Rose would be surviving in the end with their children cooing and playing somewhere in the daisy fields. Screw the real story or the fiction. We did not want to see anything else. This is us when it comes to heartbreak and you need to figure out how to survive a breakup.
We so wish our lives to be lead like a movie with the most usual happy endings. We are a set of weak-minded creatures, carrying a whole chunk of sentiments loaded in our minds. But looking at the greener side, emotions make us passionate. They make our lives surreal. We bond with each other, create love story never heard of, share our heart and soul with our better half. After all, not to forget, we are human beings. We are meant to do this.
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Going Away from Your Soulmate
To be honest, it is an honour to meet your soulmate in one lifetime. That soulmate need not be perfect, but somebody who is just the right person for you. The chief recipe of a relationship is primarily ‘trust.’ Trust gives a-go-go to all sorts of constants such as friendship, love, and a future. But when this string is pulled off, the blackout is unbearable. The pain is the next level. It is like as if a flower has lost its fragrance or a clock has come to a still. You seem to have lost the essence of your life at once. Your future appears so very bleak. It is, nonetheless, a personal apocalypse for you.
You become so numb and hopeless. But even worse, you become desperate to go back to your ex and revive it all again. Asking your ex for what went wrong, beg for forgiveness and request to come back to square one. That is where you lose the remaining of your self-esteem. Now, that is not just unacceptable, but highly despicable.
How to Survive a Breakup
Let us discuss specific guiding tips on how to survive a breakup in rather constructive ways:
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Acceptance is key
Though the relationship had hit the rocks, you keep on struggling through its days and nights. Your life starts running in a single loop. You are stuck in your own gloomy space. You downgrade your worth, disappoint your family members who really care for you and hurt them in return. Now considering a pragmatic approach, you must know for once that the universe works in a collaborative way. It definitely wants the good for you.
Nature gives us signs in disguise. Our human eyes cannot see the curtailed message behind it. It can only be perceived by a sound mind. Whatever happens, happens for a good reason, always. It stands correct in this case as well. We need to stand still and wonder why your friends and family still stand with you in your difficult times and thank them relentlessly. Strengthen yourself, drop regrets and accept. You did no wrong. You only loved. So you deserve no more tears ahead.
Don’t blame yourself, think of your dear ones instead
People generally enter into an isolated zone where they can accuse and torture themselves. They believe whatever happened, it was because of them. Even unacceptable, people become homicidal. They think it to be the only way to get away this. Even thinking of suicide is a big no. This might be the worst nightmare for your dear ones. Just imagine the life-long pain you would inflict on them and for what, a person who did not even love you. There can’t be anything more absurd than this. This most stupid act of yours would shatter your family who has nourished you and survived a good bunch of tantrums.
The fault might be in your stars, but definitely not you. If you are so much broken within, then it shows how amazingly you loved that person. If two people are honestly and mutually in love, then they will not let any excuses to peep in between them. They will override any grim situation. They would stay by each other, holding hands till the very end. However, that is not the case when you are grieving on your separation all alone. That person never loved you. Process this thought. Love was blind because you were way too honest with your feelings.
Instead of becoming a submissive person, think what else went wrong earlier, which you didn’t notice before. Surely you would be able to put fragments in place. These things will make you even more vigilant, stable and mature as a person.
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Back to routine business
This one is the easiest part you can play. Don’t discuss your break up with your friends on a repetitive basis. Plan an outing with your friends or family at once to any place of your choice, preferably less crowded spots. Engage yourself into something productive. And do so quite aggressively. Focus. Pursue your hobbies even more. Spend considerable time with your parents. Listen to their stories and experiences. Give them hands in their routine affairs. Socialize with your well-wishers. Spend more time amidst nature. Avoid immersing yourself into drinking barrels and smoking habits.
Chugging down alcohol and smoking a ton of cigarettes would only worsen your condition. Keep distance from negative criticism at this moment. Hang out more often with the best people of your life because the kind you need is who holds your hand and uplifts your spirit to extract you from this depressing phase. Attend some group sessions where people generally share and hear each other. Listen to a few inspirational monologues. Watch movies and shows of your preferred genre. If you have been winning accolades in your job, try to get even more. If you are yet to prove your metal, now is the time. Do whatever makes you happy and free.
Buy time before getting into another relationship
You might have been separated from your ex, but the trauma might still be haunting you at times. You are not emotionally ready to start a new relationship so soon. Sometimes, a warm hug from somebody or quite affectionate words, in our frail times, do drift us an inch closer to that person. We don’t even realize that happening. Being the sentimental species we are, we get swayed easily. Now that is the time where one quickly get hold of you. Stay cautious. A freshly broken heart is easy prey. Better not to seek out a new relationship too early.
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Revenge mode is a waste
Rage follows wreckage. Your mind must be warmed up with outrageous things. You start planning for something as vicious as it can be. In return, you are in the process of disgracing yourself. You must disembark yourself from such heinous set of thoughts. Your thoughts call for the same kind of vibe from the universe. In order to make peace with your mind, reach out to all productive resources. Be it people, things or acts. Retribution takes you nowhere. Don’t scar yourself for some worthless fellow.
Stop sneaking into your ex’s social media accounts
Undoubtedly, it is very tempting to know the whereabouts of your ex. You want to know whatever is going on in their life. It is because you still feel connected to the person. You have to let go of this feeling first. Take a strict resolution and block your ex from all of your accounts. There is no time to look back now. It is over, for all good.
Be grateful
Be thankful to the universe who showed you the right way at the right time. The acts of God are unquestionable. You could have never known the consequences, had the two of you have not separated. Be grateful to those who, if anyone ever, had dropped warnings regarding your fateful relationship with the ex. Sometimes, our dearest people can see what our eyes can’t.
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Hopes must not die
Someone has indeed said that “Death of hopes is the death of life.” So, for your dear life, keep the hopes burning. Love does exist. It is just that bad comes easy. Goodness takes time. So, gather yourself and be open to all the opportunities life gives you. If you find somebody tickling your heart again, give your heart a second chance to love and live. No need to rush into anything, take your time. You might shudder at once but remember, at the end of the day, we all need someone to plant a kiss of love on our forehead, wishing us goodnight with sweetest dreams. So brace whatever is coming your way, with brains at work as well.
Meditate & rejuvenate
if you are feeling useless or meaningless, with no energy left to deal with the world, come closer to yourself. And there is no better way of doing this without meditation. Meditation is an art of living in resonance with your inner self. Amp up your confidence level. Develop a habit of meditating once or twice a day daily. If this routine been followed religiously, you are most probably on the way to build a rational and affable mind. More you meditate, more is the serenity and wisdom, you are welcoming in life.
Focus on shaping your career
Caring all about your romantic affair will never lead you anywhere. Work on developing a secure foundation of your life. A bright career prospect gives you strength in unimaginable ways. Your career not just enriches you but hundreds or thousands of them, benefitting from your service or product. The clock will continue ticking, and you would be scaling new heights, delivering even better and your income likewise. A job brings along a whole lot of admiration and respect. And if wise men are to be trusted, jobs are the best kind of useful distractions.
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Special considerations for the divorced or to-be-divorced couples
When you are going through a rough patch in your marriage, you give it significant time for things to normalize. But when repetitively failed, apparent thought would be separation. Though divorce counts to be the extreme most step in one’s life, it might be the best alternative for keeping up with the sanity & peace of mind and soul. But it needs a thorough reconsideration when you have kids in between. Depending on their mental age, it is tough to predict and assume their tolerance level.
In a society filled with narrow mindsets, you need to discuss your situation with them. Make them understand the importance the decision makes on your family culture. Take them into your confidence. Regarding their custody, leave the decisions to them if they are big enough to understand the consequences. Let them meet their parent whenever they wish too. Make sure that the couple has separated, not the parents. If one of the parents seems to be least interested in kids affairs, single parenting or second marriage would be the happier options. Build up more confidence and high spirit for your kiddo’s sake. Their future is partially in your hands. So instead of lamenting, remember the smile and affection of your kid.
Break-ups are never easy to deal with. It calls for tons of courage. But believe me, once you are done with it, you will treat the episode as the best lesson gained in life.