“Grihastha“ is undoubtedly the most rocking of all the four phases of life. Coming from a happy-go-lucky phase, it is more like welcoming a revolution in life, for a better cause. The love sparks are everywhere. Sun, stars, moon all seem to start communicating to you. Two people have bonded with each other willfully to be buoyantly in love with each other, going distances to carve out a better life together. From here on, two people are sharing the same set of dreams, outlook and wishes. It sure sounds like a fun ride ahead. There are a plethora of things that can be related when you are a married couple. Following are some of the relatable things that only married couples can understand.
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You have nothing called personal any more
If you used to be a person with reservations, it is a tidal wave in your life. Gone are the days when you would be secretive and hiding all the time. You happily open that room to your spouse. “Mine” turns into “ours”. Your feelings and things have apparently two owners now. Your joys and sorrows get to be mingled with others now.
You are growing mutually
One must remember Yin and Yang concept which describes how opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary and interconnected, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. The same theory applies to married couples as well. They might be of different structure or stature, but both complement each other in unthinkable ways. You get to see many of your friends, post-marriage, getting changed to a far better version. It is like they have been inoculated for life. Love really makes wonders happen.
Priorities are switched for good
After marriage, your dreams are not only yours anymore. Both will take measures to contribute their best to make each other a happy, radiant and content person. Both of you would ensure special celebrations for special days. None of you would leave any stone left unturned to arrange for bigger and better surprises. If you’re not much into creativity, you will make sure that your spouse needs not to worry and you are there to handle her bucket list.
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Responsibilities are shared
Marriage is called an enormous responsibility for no-nonsense. Both the partners involved share equal responsibility of standing by love, honesty, hardships and loyalty. The household chores like cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids and after school activities etc. are well divided to relieve each other of extra workloads. On odd days, they would be considerate towards sharing even more.
You have two families to care and thank for
Marriage is not just two people getting together; it is two families getting married. More the people, merrier life becomes.
You have got a friend for life
Marriage would be dull without a friendship between couples. You need to have that connection where you know your spouse through and through — laughing out loud, crying together, cracking similar jokes, hanging out at your hot spots, sharing the same level of insanity, playing random pranks and doing some other crazy stuff. This means you have a 24*7 entertainer staying by your side. You develop this special connection in a gradual course of time.
You perform as a team
Every single thought or act affects the married couple as a whole. Decisions, trivial or significant, are made by consensus. In times of despair, you have somebody to cheer you up, comfort you and appreciate your achievements. There is somebody to lean on, somebody to take the fall for you. You enjoy being the partners in crime. If the team plays well, it stays well.
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You are becoming good at compromises
In order to have an everlasting marriage, it cannot be a win-win solution always for both the partners. Either of them has to bend at times for the sake of spouse. Actually, it is not even a loss to anyone because such small acts give a surplus amount of joy in return. You put your loved one before yourself. One understands that it is always better to bend a bit rather than breaking the beautiful relationship. The choice becomes yours. Mere apologies and forgiveness add life and strength to your bond of love.
Nobody knows about your partner better than you
Apparently, you are the one now who has seen the best and worst of your partner. You know how to fix things for your mate and what is to refrain likewise. Both of you get to know each other’s likes and dislikes in food preferences, movie genres, clothing style, books, sports etc. Be it shopping or career; you are the best one to guide what is apt for your bae and what isn’t.
Dog and catfights may sound to be routine
Any balance needs bad things to co-exist with the good stuff. There are moments when arguments blow out of proportion. Some silly act or mistake and the house goes on fire. It is almost there in every marriage, irrespective of being love or arranged. The blame game, reminding each other’s faults and discussion on buried incidents popping out of nowhere is no big deal anymore. Yet it survives for not too long. Either of them takes a mammoth initiative to put off the fire. Every single time, people start becoming creative, bringing in new ideas to impressively handle and apologies to their mate because, at the end of the day, it is the love and laughter that matters in life. As time passes on, we would find all these fights silly and would be laughing hard on those memories on sharing them with the kids.
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The circles of the married couple are intersecting
You must be having a friend or colleague circle of your own but post-marriage, you get to enter the circle of your spouse as well and likewise happens with your partner. You need to entertain them as and when required. It is fun meeting a new set of people and getting to know about the quirky side of your mate. This way, we get to solidify our bond even more.
The married couples feel devoted to each other in many ways
There stands a very bleak line between live-in relationships and marriage. Unlike the former, when you are wedded to each other, a distinct feel of responsibility sinks in. It seems like you two belong to each other and cannot let any petty thing shatter your gleeful space. You are out of the comfort zone of making easy decisions. Besides, you are accountable to lot many people around you, including your kid(s), if any. You no longer feel righteous to make quick decisions at instances of desperation at the cost of haemorrhaging your marriage.
Expectations to create your own legacy builds up
Few months of marriage and people around you start coercing you to conceive and get baby. Though happy in your own paradise and still in the process of getting to know your partner, you start struggling with ways to face these not-so- wanted anxieties dwelling in unoccupied minds. Such hilarious pressures often intrude your private space. It is always up to married couples to decide about their family planning. Suggestion and advice are warmly welcomed, but perpetual curiosity is bothersome. However, undeterred of any such thing happening around, the married couple keeps on enjoying their own space, living the life we-don’t-care size.
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You turn into a wanderlust person
There is a long things-to-do list which every married couple aims to fulfil. There is a whole lot of fantasies whirling around when you are with your person. You put efforts to create magical moments to be cherished forever. You start working on your savings and the right planning. Nothing can beat the two-some time while exploring new places together. You become so ecstatic about travelling together. It is exhilarating to know more about each other. At times, the ambience makes you fall in love with each other all over again. You get additional quality time to spend with your partner. You are into adventurous rides, cultural learnings, uncalled shopping and delectable dining, all with your one and only. This romantic share of time is extremely precious and dreamy to the married couples.
Striking balance between professional and personal life is a task
Dealing with the corporate culture, married couples are coping up with meeting deadlines and delivering quality. They are hardly able to spare time for each other. They desperately try not to bring work to bed. And it is imperative to nourish your intimacy. People are losing minds at work and bringing the stress back home. When you are in bed, you are either extremely exhausted or deeply frustrated, which leaves no space of sound conversation with your spouse. You might be struggling enough, but you know the importance of getting over it. Stakes are very high, and time is irreversible. Your love with your partner gives you enough justification to make yourself available for whatever manageable time you get to spend with each other.
You become the protector of your realm
You would want to treasure your person above everything. So, you become too protective of each other. You won’t sit back and watch your loved one suffer even minimally. That is the unforeseen power of love. You become one kickass partner for life.
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On a lighter note, there are some funnier aspects as well, which generally a married couple can very well relate to:
1. Personal Space
Husband expecting a morning tea, which is when he realizes his wife prefers to be in DND and let-me-sleep morning zone.
Wife wants an honest husband at home, but not at public spaces. You can’t point any single mistake of your wife’s in public.
In terms of in-laws treatments, the wife always expects payback from a husband with equal intensity. A bumper rewind radio mode will be switched on if you fail to do so.
They literally find a reason, at typically every inch of the house, for both of them to fight and argue. For example, a petty TV or AC remote, kitchen menu, wardrobe spaces, getting on the driving seat or even the sides of the bed to sleep. Even a piece of news on TV or any scene of the movie might spike arguments, going from nowhere to somewhere and ultimately everywhere.
Bunch of conflicts arise while handling a kid, though wanting the best for the kiddo. Husbands creating disasters, if told to handle toddlers or kids on their own, even if it is for, chuck the hours, minutes.
It is not crucial whether wife remembers or not, husbands might be doomed for missing out the special dates of the year-round. But everything gets compensated with gifts and planned surprises. This makes up for everything.
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Wet towels on the bed, uncovered food in the kitchen, socks in the living area floor, things kept way out of their fixed territory etc. induce daily fights but hell no on distinct improvisations.
Either of them might hate intense shopping, but it does not matter when your partner has to. The level of scrutiny in every single thing makes you look sorry for your body and mentally crib for food and rest.
They can call a plethora of names to each other but dare anybody who tries to defame them in person in any manner.
Every Married Couple is the Same
After reading this, you might have realised that married life has its ups and downs. But overall, it is a fun ride. And the best is, everyone has the same experiences. You might have lost count of the times husbands have complained about their wives controlling them. Similarly, millions of women think their husband’s TV habits are annoying. This tells you that you are not alone. Every marriage is the same one way or another. That is the beauty of relationships. And as far as marital relationships are concerned, the couple who stays together slays together.