You think that you are in love? Of course, you do. You would not be reading blogs upon blogs to see if you fit into that category of people who have fallen in love otherwise. You are here because you are looking to associate yourself with the usual traits that people often witness when they are in love. BUT let me stop you right there! Because you are not going to find anything of that sort here because this blog is a little more unique than a Cosmo or a Buzzfeed.
Let’s establish something before we move ahead. The signs of love are entirely subjective. They vary from person to person. So, flush out whatever signs you have been reading about online because we are going to discuss some REAL SIGNS that you would actually notice when you are in love. Clear your minds off of anything that you are thinking right now because this isn’t one of those recycled articles. This one is a real headscratcher, and you are going to need all your energy to decide if you can relate with any of these signs enough to declare that you are in love.
So, are you ready to find out if you are in love? Dive in!
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1. You Don’t Get Bored Even When You Are Quiet in Their Company
Contrary to the popular romantic Bollywood notions, you don’t hear violins or feel like running in a field of marigolds when you are in love. But you certainly don’t feel alone. Of course, talking is one way how you realise you love someone. However, do you still feel the same kind of love when you are not talking to them?
If you think you have found the one, just think of how you feel in their company even when you are not saying anything. Non-verbal communication is one of the hardest tests of a good relationship. And it would not be overly romantic if I said that you can say a lot without saying anything because it really does work. So, if you think you are in love, test the power of silence for some time. You will have your answer.
2. You Suddenly Lose Your Appetite
When you are depressed, you tend to eat a lot. It is because you are taken over by a negative feeling, which compels you to somehow abuse your health. So, naturally, when you are in love, you tend to lose your appetite. Love is one of the most positive feelings. When you are in love, you are so overwhelmed that you don’t feel like eating. Also, have you noticed that you find it difficult to swallow your food when you are in love? Everyone does.
You are just so happy that you can barely focus on anything, including eating your food (unless you are in love with food. In that case, you are in the right company).
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3. Some People Even Gain Weight
I don’t know how many of you notice this but celebrities who get into a relationship and are happily in love often appear to be thicker than before. They look healthier and they get this amazing youthful glow on their faces even without the makeup, irrespective of how old they are. For instance, of late, Taylor Swift has been appearing to be healthier and seems to have ditched her thinner and leaner self. Not only has her music become more self-oriented (as opposed to ex-oriented) but also, her public conduct has improved. Why do you think that happened? It is because she is very happy with her current boyfriend for she is very much in love with him. And because she is feeling loved and happy, whatever she is eating is affecting her body, positively.
While this may not happen to everyone, it certainly is one of the most unusual things that happen to you when you fall in love. So, look out for that!
4. You Don’t Compare Them to Anyone but Yet You Somehow Do
This may sound confusing at first but it is quite simple to understand once you are in love because it is as if every person who is in love suddenly starts to understand this new language like they are all a part of the same cult.
You never seem to be comparing them with anyone else, especially your exes like you would do when you are with someone you don’t love. You only see or want to see the good in them, and you never seem to pay attention to their flaws. However, you always find excuses to compare them with your favourite characters from a piece of literature or a movie or a TV show. This is because you want to associate them with only positive things. You see what I meant by not comparing yet comparing?
So, if you are finding yourself comparing the love of your life to Jim Halpert from The Office or to Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars, there are very good chances that you are in love.
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5. You Are Both at Peace and Thrilled
Another confusing and contradicting terms that can only be understood by those who are in love is that you can be both peaceful and excited at the same time when you are in love.
Love makes you feel relaxed. It activates that part of your brain that is responsible for releasing ‘happy hormones,’ which make you calm and serene. These ‘happy hormones’ react when you are lovingly touched by someone, and that is why you get these kinds of jollies in your body, which you commonly refer to as ‘butterflies in the stomach.’ And that is how love makes you both peaceful and thrilled.
6. You Associate with Selena Gomez’s Hands to Myself a Little Too Much
I am literally talking about literally not being able to keep your hands to yourself when you are with them. When you are in love, you feel like expressing your love physically at all times. This means you want to caress your love and have your hands wrapped around them and vice versa all the time. You want to keep touching them, maybe in a sexual way or perhaps not but you do!
And every time that you see them, the first thing you want to do is tell them how much you missed their face and their overall presence not by telling them but by directly showing it to them through physical embraces. So, if you cannot keep your hands to yourself every time you see your beloved (“I mean, you could but why would you want to?!”), it is okay. Be happy and rejoice because you are in love.
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7. You May Literally Become Dumb for a Brief Amount of Time
Love makes you dumb. Have you heard of that before? If you have not then, allow me to enlighten you. According to this study, being in love makes you dumb, temporarily.
Let us take an instance to understand this better. Remember the time when you were telling your love about an incident that happened, and you could not stop giggling so, you kept smiling like an idiot throughout the narrative without even being able to complete the story properly? Remember how you could not find the right words and just kept struggling to finish the whole thing, by the end of which you felt like you were dumb? There you go!
Love makes you clumsy. It makes you lose your senses, literally, and you struggle to articulate your thoughts correctly, regardless of how big of a novelist you are. Therefore, don’t be embarrassed if you cannot speak and say a lot of “err, um, like, you know, hehe, and so.” We have all been there.
8. Love Makes You Slightly Aggressive
I saw this meme once and it really provided me with a lot of support and assurance because, until that moment, I actually thought that I was being slightly aggressive with my boyfriend. No, I am not talking about the verbally abusive or the domestic violence type of aggressive. I mean I bit his hand whenever he said something super smart and made me feel like I was an idiot. I thought that there was some problem with me but that meme, wherein the girlfriend bites her boyfriend’s arm because she thinks kissing is not enough, really cleared my doubt.
Turns out, you indeed become a little aggressive when you are in love. This also explains why every time you see a dog, you react violently by squishing its face or suffocating it with your intense Punjabi hugs that would drown that poor baby.
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9. You Include Them in All Your Future Plans
Kind of obvious but extremely true! I include my boyfriend in my plans so much that now, he has become a part of my family. He has become such an important part of my family that even my mom includes him in all our family plans. And he does not even live with us. Going on a trip? Check. Getting dinner? Check. Watching a movie? Check. Moving to a different country? Check. So, it is safe to say that he is included in everything.
When you are in love, you feel like it is your responsibility to consider the one you love in all your future plans because it feels as if you are either betraying them or you simply do not feel like the plan is complete without them. Hence, go all in and make plans together. Don’t worry you have not lost your mind. You are simply in love.
10. You Tend to Dream of Them Almost Every Night
Another obvious sign that almost everyone notices when they are in love is that you begin to see them in your dreams more than usual. And there is no rocket science of an explanation behind this.
When you are in love, you are occupied by the thoughts of that person in every waking moment of your life. And you never seem to get them out of your head no matter how much you try. Since our dreams are a review or a reflection of our entire day, you dream of the same person that you have been thinking of all day when you sleep.
It is truly beautiful when this happens and although you may think that it is unexplanatory, it is just your brain’s way of telling you that you are truly in love. No need to be perplexed.
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11. You Casually Slip Their Names into Other Conversations
Have you ever said something like “You know what Manav said the other day?” or “Oh my god! Malaika has the same phone!!” or even “Sahil is so weirdly funny. He is a walking meme?” Yes, you are in love. And the funniest part about this is that the people whom you are talking to do not even know who Manav or Malaika or Sahil is. So, you are actually casually slipping their names into conversations that you are having with other people in hopes that they will ask you, “Who is that?” and say “Tell me more!!” and you would then get a chance to rant about how cool and awesome the person you are in love with is.
Thus, don’t even mistakenly think that you are a genius when you do this. It is an old trick and even your friends are aware of it because probably, they have also used it sometime in the past. So, what I mean to say is, it is okay. Your friends will absolutely understand this for they see how much in love you are.
12. You Try Following Their Interests
My boyfriend was a crazy cricket fan when I met him and I hated cricket with all the cells in my body. But when I fell for him, I started looking beyond my hate for the sport and tried to see it from his perspective. I tried to understand why he loved it so much and why was it important for him to make me like it, too.
Needless to say, I started keeping myself a tad updated with cricket. Not fully because I still hate it but just enough so I can have long conversations with him about his interest and actually understand what he says. Similarly, he also developed an interest in marketing and advertising, which are my fields of interests. So, it works out well. Also, quit beating yourself up because you are not obsessing over anything.
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13. You Begin to Consider Past Relationships as Lessons for the Current Relationship
This is my favourite part of being in love.
Your exes were jerks and you understand this, which is why you are able to get over them. This is such a mature part about loving someone and being with them. Since you don’t want to lose them or do anything to ruin whatever you have with the person you love that you actually refrain from making the mistakes that you made with your exes in your previous relationships.
You treat this new relationship with them like a newborn baby. You are gentle and patient with them and you rectify your mistakes almost instantaneously. Your past relationships are like learning curves for you and you don’t see them so much as bitter memories as you see them as life lessons, which is a very mature outlook on life.
14. You Picture Them as Both a Friend and a Lover
When you need a friend to talk to, you know they will be there. You also know that when you need a lover to talk to, they will be there. When you begin to consider the one you love as someone who is capable of playing two different roles in your life without the interference of either role, you are in love. If at any point in time, you feel that they are less of either of the two, you may not be so much in love as temporarily attracted to them.
15. When You Go Shopping, You Look for Things for Them, Too
Lastly, one of the most underrated but important signs that you are in love is that you look for the things that you can buy for them every time you go shopping.
You are at Hamley’s? Let’s buy your 25-year-old boyfriend a batman mask. You are buying clothes for yourself on the second floor? Let’s go to the women’s section on the ground floor and ‘see’ if you can get that specific handbag that you have been stalking on Amazon for months for her. It is not even on the way because you have an exit on the second floor itself! But no. You do it for love.