How to Restart Your Love Life

Hi! If you have stumbled upon this blog because you are done with feeling broken-hearted, being single and don’t know what to do with your life, here are some chocolates, a blanket and 23 hugs to make you feel better. By now you might know that you have come to the right place. Your story is nothing new or different. Thousands of people are feeling what you are feeling right now. So let’s put you out of your misery and answer the question that has been bugging you for so long; can you restart your dating life? And the answer is a simple yes! You most definitely can restart your love life with the right guidance and nudge in the right direction. Read on to find out more!

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How to Know If You Are Ready to Start Dating Again?

The thing is that you are never truly ready for a relationship. You never really know if you are ready. And there is no way to tell if you are. But there are baby steps to reaching that point. People are right when they say rebounds are not exactly healthy. What you need to do is completely get over your ex-partner to move on in life. But you can’t just wake up one day and say that you are ready for a relationship. It is a process. Sometimes it is painful, other times it allows you to find yourself. Self-discovery at its best! So it is okay to be bombarded with thoughts and it is okay if you are lying under a pile of clothes with only a little gap to breathe. Start slowly. Here is how you can do that!

Start by finding out what is inspiring you to restart your dating life.

It is very important to know that finding other single people and getting into a relationship again is something that you want. It should not be something that those around you want for you. Do not allow your best friends or family members to impose their opinions on you. Singles frequently feel pressure from those near to them to get themselves a partner. When you begin dating, you will have one more person to consider, which might mean relinquishing some feelings of flexibility and spontaneity. Be clear that this is a compromise you view as rewarding.

Know what you are expecting from the new relationship.

Is it to have somebody to do things with or are you eventually searching for your life partner? What do you wish to achieve from this relationship? Make the effort to recognize your needs and wishes as doing so will certainly help you make the most effective decisions. If you do not know what you are looking for, you won’t recognise when you have actually found it. So always know what you are expecting from the new relationship. That will allow you to avoid anything bad that will put you back to square one.

Ask Yourself If You Feel Ready

You are required to trust your judgement to understand if you are truly all set. If thinking about dating people makes you feel anxious, scared or daunted, you might want to give yourself some time. However, if the idea of meeting new people gets you all fired up and hopeful for the future, you might just be ready to take the new step.

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Analyse yourself and figure out what has changed in you after you last broke up.

Have your lifestyle, schedule or eating habits altered or modified in any way? Are your objectives changed this time? Are you in a new phase of life that will impact a relationship? Mindfulness is all about self-awareness. As you acknowledge these things, consider what necessary alterations you will want to make this time. You may want not to disclose certain things about your life or you might choose to date only vegans. The greater your clarity, the smoother your dating life will be.

If you have actually truly recovered from whatever previous pain you suffered in your past relationships and are ready to explore your love life once again, begin by reflecting on your past to make a better future.

By now you know what you do not want in a partner. So focus on what really do. Making a list of all the attributes that you desire in your partner is an exceptional way to obtain clarity for future relationships. Your list can have whatever you want. No judgement in that.

Find out if you still feel guilty

If the thought of going out with another person makes you feel guilty or like you are betraying your ex, this is pretty common. However, it most likely suggests that you are not all set to move on. It makes no sense making yourself feel bad for dating. So if you see that you are beginning to really feel positive about dating without guilt, it might be time to start dating again.

Make sure that you don’t have trust issues anymore

If your ex broke your heart or betrayed you, it can be difficult to feel like you can rely on someone again after a separation. Therefore, if it seems like you could be able to trust a person once more, you are most likely all set to begin a new and healthy relationship. If you are still hurt with your break up, it will just undermine the next relationship you have. So be absolutely certain you are ready to start dating.

The Basics to Follow

Take note of your past relationships up until this point as well as assess why your previous relationships did not work out. Consider whatever that occurred in the past as a lesson. Move past any type of negativity that you may have about getting back in the dating world.
Don’t let your emotions weigh you down or be the reason you cannot get in touch with someone again. After reflecting on the “why” in the past that did not go well for you, discover sources to allow yourself to let go of any feelings, worries or anxiety that may have been accumulated.

Blaming yourself will certainly not allow you to move on

The very best means to have a better future is to approve of your past – stay in the here and now.
Avoid criticizing yourself for your mistakes or blame yourself for any kind of blunders that were made by you while you were with your previous partners. Blaming yourself will certainly not allow you to move on. Have peace around you and with whoever you are. Take some time out for yourself. Whether it is through a new innovative venture, a fresh physical fitness routine, or retrospect to reset on your own.

In some cases, all it takes is breaking free of your routines and branching off right into the brand-new region. This goes for every aspect of your life, not simply dating. Trying something different might give you a brand-new point of view on what you do as well as do not desire. Similarly, it helps you meet new people to expand your social circle.

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If you are active on online dating sites or regularly attend various dating events, it is time for some purification. Updating your bio and finding a new picture for your profiles can actually work pretty well. Check out a new place to make newer and better friends – possible companions, too. Besides, explore a premium matchmaking service that can narrow down opportunities based upon what this new version of you is trying to find.

Here is how you can restart your love life!

1. Sense all the good and bad in your life

This particular thing is exactly what you were hoping to find on this article, weren’t you?  You need to start being aware of your emotions and feelings. Don’t simply avoid, replace, reduce or numb your feelings. That is not how you should be living your life especially when you are trying to restart your life. Doing that will increase toxicity in your life. It is not necessary for you to really feel good all the time. In fact, unpleasantness and confused feelings benefit you. They teach you how to differentiate between the good and bad.

Making this single psychological change can be one of the most empowering adjustments you can make in restarting your love life. As I said, the unpleasant emotions and thoughts can educate you so much regarding yourself as well as your past relationships. Similarly, they allow you to move on from the loss of your relationship.

A single psychological change can be one of the most empowering adjustments you can make in restarting your love life

The process of getting over a breakup is similar to the mourning process – you know when you lose someone who is close to you. While the intensity may feel totally different, the feelings can definitely be compared. The five stages of grief are still applicable here – anger, denial, bargain, shock, and acceptance.

Personally, I feel that if you do not really go through these stages after a breakup, you are most likely to bring these with you right into your following relationships. You might also end up reenacting them with your new special someone. Make sure you go through those stages before you think about a new relationship. Nobody wants to carry old baggage when starting someone new.

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2. Don’ forget to keep motivating yourself

Always remember the activities that you engage in to make yourself happy and relaxed. The painting class that you just would not miss even if it means breaking the traffic rules (Uh! Like that’s a big deal in India). The long drives with good friends that used to take off the burden off your shoulder over the weekend and make things relaxing. Or just how you loved to go to the gym for your favourite yoga class.

Supporting yourself and your interests are normally the first things people overlook when they get comfortable dating someone. Diving back right into the things that made you happy once is among the most important steps to making it through a difficult period. Instead of spending time drinking or sulking on your couch, cutting out your friends, get back to some normalcy in your life.

3. Now reflect the newness of your new life in your lifestyle 

Once you have actually really put your emotions into perspective, you can move on to reflect this new you in your day-to-day life. The hardest part is over. I remember this one time in college we had a guest lecturer who taught us the power of expression. The first activity was to feel the most painful physical trauma that you have ever been through. Kind of like reliving the pain with your eyes closed. By the end of the session, the class had drowned in tears because they had finally felt the physical pain emotionally. Honestly, I was the only one who sat there like an idiot with dry eyes.

I have always felt every emotion deeply

I could not do it because I have always felt every emotion deeply. So it wasn’t my first time. And it shows in my behaviour. People tell me that they can never imagine me crying. But this story is not about how great I am or how emotionally strong I can be. What I want to tell you is that if you really want to take charge of your life, you have to improve your ability to feel more. And that will definitely prepare you for the worse.

This stage is all about reflecting on how you felt in your previous relationship and learn to transcend it. If you do not get to the point where you can glean some understanding from it, you’re absolutely in no shape to begin a new one.

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Here are some questions you can ask yourself to understand your mindset about relationships before getting into a new one:

1. What is so ideal about the person you wish to date?
2. Is there anything that makes this person undateable?
3. Do you get any familiar vibes from this person?
4. What feels novel about this relationship?
5. Are there any red flags that you missed out on owing to the excitement of dating again?
6. Can your next relationship with this person end exactly like your past relationship?
7. Were you able to learn anything from your past dating experience?

4. Brand-new you should be your motto

Since you have actually sufficiently reflected on your past self and relationships, you may be ready to restart your love life yet again. Here are things that you can do to make sure the history does not repeat itself.

This simple tip may actually encourage you to take a different road to dating. You may be able to find a unique somebody based on what you learned from your experience. Maybe it is an unconventional and controversial way of doing things but you can totally create a checklist of top qualities that you are searching for in your next partner. Nothing to judge here. This will be strictly personal. And making this list might actually help you set a standard. After all, you deserve the absolute best.

It is an unconventional and controversial way of doing things

The most amazing part about this trick is that it would not make dating boring for you. Like you won’t have to dread the thought of being in a relationship with someone who is not suitable for you. It won’t be a shot in the dark either. You might just end up being with “the one.” It does not sound like such a petty and horrible idea once I put it that way, right? Also, who cares if people judge you. Do what makes you happy. People will follow!

5. Be happy to be alive and to have a life like yours 

Look, dating is hard. Particularly if you have actually tried to get it right again and again and again, it is harder. However, concentrating on the obstacle rather than the opportunity for finding new people, trying new things as well as better fine-tuning your dating radar will just make the process more challenging.

You can actually start practising having a good time. Fake it. It does not matter if you are enjoying your new gym, painting, pottery class. Whether you actually like your friends’ company or not is a different thing. Right now just focus on enjoying life. It is similar to faking having a good personality on the outside when you are utterly horrible in reality. Also, when you try to be someone you are not but you end up being that person. It is just like that. The more you tell yourself that you love your life, there is a high possibility of you truly loving it.

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6. Try going on a double date

The best part about double dates is that it does not put you under the spotlight. It is okay if you don’t constantly chatter and if you have nothing to tell about your day. You can set up a double date with any of your couple friends or just anybody who has a date. There is a possibility for them to set you up with one of their good friends. And you can have your double date then. Double dates are fun. Aside from controlling your nerves, you can very well learn a thing or two about relationships from the other couple.

Moreover, your friends can always help you decide whether you should be seeing your date again or not. I see this as an absolute win! (*insert the hulk meme*)

7. Get some inspiration from some classic romantic comedies

Rom-coms can be a terrific motivation to get you back into the dating game. They usually have satisfying endings, which is great news for your mental and emotional health. Yes, the main lead may fall in love with someone, then deal with some difficulty which threatens their love. However, it resolves well and everything is great in tinkle town once again. While real life is different from reel life, nobody said you can’t draw magic from the land of fantasies if it helps you survive. Romantic comedies can remind you of that. And with a bit of luck, you might just be able to crawl your way back into relationships again.

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8. Grab all the opportunities in sight

There are times when a completely unfamiliar person might catch your eye at the grocery store or while crossing the street or while you’re out for your morning jog. If you are feeling a little intense connection there, you can maximize these chances by trying to strike up a conversation with them. Seize the day, my friend! But don’t rush into anything. Take your time. If the conversation goes well, you could take their number. And who knows what would happen after that. Understand that you often have to take risks so as to get what you want.

Getting back into dating can be a little bit intimidating in the beginning. Nevertheless, the world of dating includes a great deal of uncertainty as well as hard emotional work. If you meet someone you like, yet after that, it does not work out, it can be hard to begin once more. Know that the dating world is filled with endless possibilities. You can meet plenty of new people as well as have numerous experiences. You may even end up dating people you had no idea you would. And that is incredible!

9. Don’t stress. Take it easy

One concern that many individuals have when it comes to getting back into the dating game is how to go about it? It can be daunting when you don’t know how to meet people, especially if your social state is rather different from the last time.

The very first thing to say is: don’t put way too much pressure on yourself. Take it easy. It is just dating. I know it is easy to get caught up in emotions so breathe. Take one step at a time.

Rediscover some of the social self-confidence you may feel you have lost

You would like to begin by merely trying to be much more social than you were before. You might want to go to clubs that intrigue you, join local clubs (the other kind of clubs), reconnect with old friends and the likes. It is not necessarily about meeting someone right away. It is about widening your horizon as well as giving yourself the possibility to rediscover some of the social self-confidence you may feel you have lost. Very important!

One other alternative, certainly, is online dating. Online dating may have been perceived as an unpopular choice in the past or even something strange and abnormal. But nowadays it is preferred more than traditional dating. It has its perks for those with poor social skills who would like to know people before they meet them. Internet dating offers allows you to match with people based upon interests. So you are certain that you are meeting someone of your kind.

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How did you restart your dating life? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!