Getting married is a personal choice for anyone of us. Well, we all need a life partner at some point in our life with whom we can share our sorrows and joys. Though we all have our families to be with us in our good and bad times having a life partner can make a huge difference.
As I’m talking about getting married and having a soul mate for life, there are a lot of things to be considered before you settle down. Firstly, you need to decide whether you want to opt for love marriage or an arranged marriage. For girls, especially, parents usually take the responsibility of finding the right guy. This has been going on in our country for ages. Though India is pretty conservative in such cases, however, nowadays parents have given freedom to their daughters to choose their life partner.
However, there are many girls who still opt for an arranged marriage instead of a love marriage. Well, there’s no harm in finding the right partner through an arranged marriage setup. There are thousands of successful marriages where the couple opted for an arranged marriage. They are happily living together and they also recommend their friends and other family members to opt for the same.
Well, getting married brings a very big change in everyone’s life, especially for girls. I’m sure all the girls will be able to relate to this. When a girl gets married, she leaves her family behind and starts a new life with her partner and her family. That’s a huge change. It is an emotional moment for any girl as she is going to leave her own house forever. But that’s how it is.
Talking about an arranged marriage, there are lots of questions going on in every girls’ mind about this. The moment you come to know that your parents or relatives have started finding a guy for you, you won’t stop thinking about it. There will be lots of questions going on in your mind about how the guy would be, what will be his profession, what kind of habits he has and many more things. Apart from this, there will be butterflies in your stomach as you are going to meet him for the first time. You’ll start working on yourself. From deciding what to wear to how to start a conversation, there will be lots of preparations done by you.
But girls, wait, wait, there’s not just you who prep up for the first meeting, but also the guys who come all prepared for the same. So for guys who are set to meet the girl for the first time through an arranged marriage set up, there are a lot of things he would want to ask the girl. Well, that’s right! Both should get a chance to express themselves before they take things forward.
So guys, I know you might be feeling equally nervous and jittery when you decide to meet the girl for the first time. So, here are some important questions which you need to ask the girl just to know her better and also know her views about certain things. Asking these questions can help you have a meaning conversation and also show clear your doubts that are in your mind. But guys, you need to carefully ask the questions without hurting her. The girl shouldn’t feel offended. Go easy breezy in the beginning and then start with some serious conversation.
So folks, let’s dig in:
- What are your career goals?
Since you are meeting the girl through an arranged marriage set up, you must be hardly knowing anything about her. So, start your conversation by asking her about her profession and what her career goals are. This will let you know if she is a career-oriented girl or not. How passionate she is about her work and what she wants to achieve in the future. And just in case, if both of your professions are the same, there will be lots to talk and discuss. Nowadays, guys like career-oriented girls who can equally help guys in taking responsibility for running the house. So if guys are looking for the same in his life partner, this is an essential question. On the other side, if the girl wants to be a housewife, asking about her career will help you decide whether to take things forward or not.
- Are you planning for further studies?
Education has no end. Girls nowadays are doing multitasking just to add more to their bio-data. Apart from doing a 9 to 5 job, there are many who opt for distance learning or acquire degrees through correspondence. Sometimes, girls also thinking about continuing or think about further studies even after marriage. So guys, asking the girl about her future plans to study is also essential. Guys nowadays are happily encouraging and extending their full support to their life partners when she decides to study further. So, boys, you should be aware of the future plans of your life partner. This will help you to plan things from the beginning and also help her as much as you can by giving her appropriate suggestions and also sponsoring her studies.
- What are your hobbies or personal interests?
Well, this is the most commonly asked question by anyone whom you meet for the first time through an arranged marriage. Apart from education and career, you should also know the girl’s interests. Asking the girl about her hobbies and what is her favorite past time can lead to a fun and enjoyable conversation. In many cases, coincidentally, you both might share the same interest. For example, if the girl says she likes watching movies of a particular genre or reading books, if you have the same interests, you’ll have lots to talk about. Also, both of you can explore each other’s hobbies together. It can be fun and at the same time, you’ll get to know each other better. Even if you don’t like the girl’s hobbies, try to appreciate it. She will love it and open up lots of things with you.
- What are your responsibilities towards your parents?
Guys, this is an important and essential question to ask any girl before you decide to settle down with her. Well, every guy will wish for a girl who is caring enough towards her near and dear ones. It is important to know how good she is at taking responsibility for her family. So when the girl expresses her opinions on the same, you will get a fair idea of whether she is caring and a responsible person or not. This will also help you decide whether she will be able to fit in your family and take care of them in the same way or not.
- Will you be able to live in a joint family after marriage?
Though this can be optional most of the time guys do ask this question to the girl. This is an essential question which you need to ask a girl. If you are staying in a joint family and don’t wish to live separately after marriage, this is a must-ask question. Here, you don’t need to go round and round and directly ask the girl. The girl too will express her opinion on the same. So, if the girl agrees for it, you can take things forward but if she doesn’t, you can accordingly decide to go for her or not. Also, you can make her understand and convince her to stay in a joint family; however, the final call will be of hers. Don’t force her as it is her personal choice.
- Will you contribute a part of your income for my family?
This point can be optional and a very personal thing since it depends on the girl’s choice. Since most of the girls today earn to help their family, they are expected to do the same for her husband’s family. There is no harm in taking the help of your life partner to run your house and if the girl doesn’t feel responsible enough to help your family, you can opt-out of this alliance as she didn’t meet your expectations. You can tell her about the situation of your family and how you can make things work if she supports you financially. But even after explaining her, she is adamant, you can always say no to her. It’s better to express your views and also tell her about your expectations. This will help you avoid having rifts after marriage. Also, this will help you know how responsible she is towards your family.
- There may be times when you will have work and also help with household chores. Are you comfortable with that?
We totally understand that it becomes very difficult and hectic for married ladies to juggle between household chores and work. Though, these days many working couples hire house help so it becomes less burdening for the girl. But there are times when you have to do both things. So guys, just to be on sure enough whether the girl is ready to handle both these works when needed, you can ask the girl about it. There is no harm in doing household chores once in a while when needed. But it also shows how you are equally responsible for your house as you are towards your work. If you are expecting the same from the girl and she is ready for it, you can go ahead to settle down with her.
- If needed, are you ready to re-locate or travel with me to another city or country?
This is especially for the guys who are planning to settle in a different city or country. Well, generally, it’s the girl who makes an adjustment of shifting with her partner wherever he chooses to go. You might get a permanent job somewhere in a different city or country or your job includes constant traveling across the city or country. So guys, if there is the slightest possibility of all these things happening in the future, you should openly discuss it with the girl. There may be a possibility that the girl is not willing to relocate or travel constantly with you because of her job or maybe she doesn’t wish to live so far away from her family. It is better to clear things before you decide to accept each other just to avoid problems in the future.
- What are your expectations for your future husband?
So guys, let’s not be that selfish and after asking several questions, this one is very essential. Apart from expressing your views and expectations to the girl, you should also ask what she wants from you. Ask her about what she expects from you as a husband. How does she wish to spend the whole life with you? What all she wants to do with you in the future? Ask this question towards the end of the conversation as now things between you both might have become a bit comfortable. This will let her express herself openly and she will tell you everything that is going in her mind. Patiently listen to her without interrupting and try to understand her.
So guys, first meetings through an arranged marriage set up can be interesting, full of nervousness and exciting. It depends on how you handle the situation and make the best use of the time you have with her. As we all say, “The first impression is the last impression.” Try your best to make the girl feel pleasant, comfortable and have fun. Avoid too serious conversations which will make the girl feel uncomfortable and leave you embarrassed. Remember all the things she said and try to make this first meeting a memorable one that you can’t wait to meet her again.
So, guys, I hope the above questions were useful enough for all of you. The next time you meet someone for the first time, do ask these questions and see how it works. Also, share more of such questions if you have any. Tell us how useful this article was for you. We will wait for your valuable comments.