Every human being is different in their ways. Be it, nature, habits, lifestyle, choices, and many more. You can’t be exactly like someone while expecting others to be like you. Everyone has their unique quality, which makes them different from others. In fact, that’s the beauty of people. No matter how hard you try, there are some inherent qualities that stay with you forever. So, I am sure you are aware of the terms introvert and extrovert.
Introvert and extrovert are two pretty common personality traits. And we can actually categorise people around us on the basis of these couple of traits. Of course, now there are ambiverts and a few more that are being highlighted in our society, but let’s stick to the core ones, for the purpose of this blog.
Simplistically, introverts are the ones who talk less and socialise less. They maintain a smaller social circle because they prefer spending more time with themselves than being surrounded by a large group. Extroverts, on the other hand, are very free-spirited individuals. They like to be around people, are more outgoing, and love to express. Extroverts can, sometimes, also be extremely direct and straightforward.
Have you ever wondered what happens when an introvert and an extrovert fall in love? It is like two extremely different people coming together. It is a deadly combination and sometimes these couples are the best. In spite of being incompatible in many ways, they still love each other the most and live happily. The difference in nature doesn’t affect their relationship and it makes their bond even stronger.
Generally, you always try to find a partner who is very much like you. For example, you being an introvert fall in love with an extrovert. In such cases, you just love the person the way they are. Well, sometimes, such relationships work out well and you can learn a lot from them.
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Opposites Still Attract
As the cliché goes, opposites attract! And clichés exist for a reason. They are true for introvert extrovert relationships, too. In such relationships, one person understands the other person’s silence and simply enjoys it. While the introvert will love fall in love with his/her partner who will lighten up everything with his/her fun-loving nature. This will bring some changes to each other’s routine lifestyle.
I have had the pleasure of knowing several couples who have completely contradicting personalities. And these couples have proved that only love matters. Nothing transcends love. Yes, such couples do exist and they have given a new definition to relationships.
Some of us believe that being with someone who is exactly like us is very important and helpful. But, it is not true. The very first thing we see or come to know about a person is his/her nature. The moment you start talking to that person or be around him/her, you will get to know many things. If the person talks less or likes to stay away from people, he/she is an introvert. If the person is openly talking to everyone and getting along well, he/she is an extrovert. Well, it is up to you whether you like that person the way he/she is no matter how you are.
So, now that we have known enough about introvert extrovert relationships and people. Here are some aspects which you need to consider before getting into an introvert extrovert relationship.
Here are some things to be kept in mind before getting into an introvert extrovert relationship:
1. Be ready for sacrifices
Since you are dating someone who is not like you, you will need sacrifices many times for various things. Your hobby, tastes, likes, dislikes and many more things won’t be the same, so you will have to adjust. This is one thing you will have to keep in mind before getting into an introvert extrovert relationship.
2. Understand where your partner is coming from
You will have to handle things maturely when it comes to understanding each other’s problems. It might be difficult to live with a partner who is exactly opposite but you need to stay calm. Always remember, you can’t keep complaining or have issues about the way your partner is. If you are ready for this, then go ahead.
3. Don’t force your partner to change
If you are ready to accept your partner the way he/she is, only then think about the future. But if you are not and have a mindset or huge expectations of changing your partner, then things may not work out.
4. Respect your partner’s rights, but don’t give up on yours
This is the most important thing you need to think about and consider before getting into an introvert extrovert relationship. There is a perception that the partner or you should give up their likes, dislikes, habits, and everything because of your introvert. This is not the right thing to do. Sometimes your introvert partners might expect you to give up on many things you like which is unreasonable. Compromising to a certain extent is worthy but to give up on a lot many things is not the right thing to do. This might leave you or your extrovert partner frustrated. Respecting your partner’s rights is very important but giving up on yours is wrong and unfair. You and your partner both should be ready to understand this.
5. Don’t judge without knowing all the facts
This is very essential before you get into an introvert extrovert relationship. As the saying goes, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” relationships should also be treated like books. They are mysteries that need to be unravelled with time and patience.
You might have some preconceived notions in your mind about someone who is an introvert. And you might simply judge and arrive at conclusions. Here you can be wrong sometimes and misunderstand certain things. Get to know that person first before judging them.
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6. Be patient when dealing with your partner
When you are thinking about getting into an introvert extrovert relationship, you discover new things about that person. Sometimes, you like the most happening things but that person doesn’t. Remember, you have to make a big deal out of it. Being an extrovert, you are keen on exploring new things but that person likes to do so, in such a case, you have to find a solution to handle the situation. Giving that person some time to adjust to things is very important. You will have to try and convince him/her, but even if he/she doesn’t agree, then force. Forcing your likes and dislikes on your partner won’t be cool.
Give your partner some time to understand you and the way you live or deal with situations. You can’t expect your partner to adjust immediately. All these things require a lot of patience and should be handled calmly to avoid any major disagreements. While extroverts tend to get hyper when their introvert partners take more time to adjust, but you need to calm down and make things work out slowly and gradually. Be ready for this before you think about going ahead.
7. Be thoughtful when you introduce your partner to your friends
When you think about getting in an introvert extrovert relationship, you need to be very careful with this thing. When you know your partner is an introvert, try not to gather lots of people or throw a grand bash to introduce him/her to your friends. This will scare him/her or make your partner uncomfortable. He/she might also feel suffocated in the presence of so many people. Introverts sometimes avoid going to social gatherings as they like to spend time alone. You will have to introduce your partner to just a few people first. Then gradually, you can introduce him/her to your other big group of friends. This will make him less nervous and he/she will enjoy it. So you need to take care of this before you introduce your partner to anyone. If you are ready to take care of your partner’s comfort first, you can move ahead with this relationship.
8. Be clear about your needs
When you think about getting into an introvert extrovert relationship, you have to be clear about your needs. Since both of you have different personalities, be very clear about what you want. You will have to learn to speak up rather than just accepting things the way they are. You will have to make a habit of telling your partner about what you like and what you don’t. If you don’t feel like doing something, be clear about it. If you want to do something, talk to your partner about it. Talking and defining each other’s needs will make things easy for both of you. Don’t be rude or force each other for something. Explain to each other what you want and try to adjust whenever needed.
Apart from this, you need to prepare yourself a lot and be ready to face all kinds of situations before you decide to get into an introvert extrovert relationship.
When you finally decide to go ahead and be in an introvert extrovert relationship, here are some ways to make it work:
Balance it with communication
Communication is key to a successful relationship. If you are an introvert and considering dating an extrovert, the best way to make it work is through communication. Don’t hesitate to express your views, opinions, likes, dislikes and expectations. Talk it out with that person and make sure there is enough transparency in your relationship through effective communication.
In case, you are an extrovert, this tip will be useful for you, too. Communication in any kind of relationship is extremely important.
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Say yes to new experiences and adventures
Every introvert will be able to relate to this. Just because you don’t socialise more or go for frequent outings, you shouldn’t always deny if asked to accompany. Just say yes and attend it even if it is for a while. Come out of your comfort zone and explore things together. Saying too much of NO will leave your extrovert part upset and frustrated.
Similarly, the extrovert partner should also agree to do stuff by staying home and spending time together or reading books or watching a show.
Be honest about how you feel
Being an introvert, you are too overwhelmed by socialising with your extrovert partner and want some time alone, let your partner know. Tell him/her that you need to get out of this atmosphere and stay alone.
In the same way, your extrovert partner, too, will be feeling lonely or bored as he/she is not surrounded by people. Both should be honest with each other which will help you both know about each other’s situation.
Allow your extroverted partner to talk
Introverts speak less and listen more and they expect others to do the same. But when you are dating an extrovert, let them talk. Such people feel suffocated when they don’t get a chance to share things. In this case, allow your partner to talk and you can be a listener.
Extroverts are more talkative compared to introverts. But this doesn’t mean you don’t give a chance to your partner to talk. Give them an equal opportunity to talk and share things with you.
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Take equal or more initiative in planning your outings
Being an introvert, you would love to go out rarely or just spend time at each other’s place. But if you take more initiatives of planning outings, your extrovert partner will love it. Well, most of the times, your extrovert partner will plan various outings but when you do it most of the times, it will mean a lot to them.
Extroverts always find ways of going out, want to be around people, watch movies, and plan frequent outings. But sometimes, you should slow down and also plan some things which your introvert partner loves to do. They will appreciate this gesture. Sometimes, instead of going to pubs, parties or watching movies, you can take your partner for a walk on the beach or just hang out at his/her house.
Friends, I hope the above points will help all those couples who want to get into an introvert extrovert relationship or are already in one. There is nothing wrong in falling in love with a person having different qualities than you. Listen to what your heart says and go ahead with it.