Love is one of the best feelings in the world. Wouldn’t you agree? It is a feeling which makes you feel that everything around you is so beautiful. Lucky ones are those who find their soul mate for life and live with them happily ever after. While some love stories have a fairytale-like happy ending, some don’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end. You can surely find someone else in your life and live with that person forever. And when you fall in love, you are actually in a committed relationship with the person. You’re totally committed to that person and agree together forever.
We all know it takes a lot of efforts to keep a relationship stable. If you fail to put efforts, it might end, and you will be left heart-broken. Every relationship goes through a lot of ups and downs. But you should be able to handle it with maturity.
Well, I don’t need to tell you much about how to manage your relationship as you all must be knowing it very well. But here’s a question. Have you ever felt that you’re in love, but you don’t get the same feeling from that person? Are you the only one who is taking efforts to make the relationship work? Do you feel your partner is taking you for granted? If yes, then
“You are in a one sided relationship”
No, I’m not kidding! It sounds harsh, but it’s true.
A one sided relationship can be painful at times. It’s like you love someone from your heart and soul, but you don’t get back the same kind of love. Well, that’s when things go wrong between you and your partner. You constantly take efforts to manage everything, but your partner is least interested. This can leave you frustrated, and you will start sensing that something is going wrong.
According to the professor of psychology Kelly Campbell who teaches at California State University, a one sided relationship is a
type of romantic relationship in which the power is imbalanced, and one person is putting in a lot [more] in terms of resources (time, money, emotional investment) [than the other] and getting little to nothing in return.
Now let’s check out the major signs that prove you are in a one sided relationship.
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1. You take the initiative of communicating all the time
Communication is very important in every relationship. Both the persons involved in a relationship must make sure they are in touch all the time. Be it talking through, messages, phone calls or by any other means. But there should be two-way communication. If you are the only one who makes calls, sends messages and find ways to communicate, sense that something is wrong. If your partner doesn’t take a single effort, then you are in a one sided relationship. It’s better to get yourself out of such a relationship rather than wasting time behind a person who is least interested in you.
2. They hang up on you; but you never hang up on them
Being in a relationship, you always make plans to go on lunch/dinner dates or for movies. It’s so exciting that you are going to spend some lovely time with your beloved. But what if your partner constantly bails? What if you make plans and your partner keeps on cancelling? You’re waiting for your date to arrive, but they don’t show up? If this keeps happening frequently, then sense that you are in a one sided relationship. It’s time that you move on and not waste your time for a person who doesn’t deserve it.
3. They choose their friends over you
Now nothing can be more irritating and painful than this. Just imagine, you make a nice plan to spend some quality time with your partner, but he/she ditches you. How will you feel? Instead of spending time with you, your partner chooses to hang out with their friends. This will definitely make your furious. When your partner chooses their friends over you, then you are definitely in a one sided relationship. A study has suggested that “engaging in leisure activities with your partner tends to increase communication, define roles, and increase marital satisfaction when leisure satisfaction is high or when partners are positive and have strong social skills.
4. You always have to adjust your schedule according to theirs
Everyone needs to make a few adjustments when in a relationship. You are the one who always makes adjustments and compromise with your timetable to meet them, whereas your partner never adjusts. You are constantly struggling to fit yourself in anything for your partner’s sake, but they don’t. This is a sign that you might be in a one sided relationship. If you are always expected to work around your partner’s schedule, then it’s better not to devote your time to such people.
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5. There are a lot of negative interactions between you and your partner
When negativity hits a relationship, it’s time you should realize that something is wrong. Well, small fights, arguments, disagreements over certain things are common in every relationship. However, when this comes constant, your relationship has hit the rocks. The constant negativity between you two, fighting over everything, completely disagreeing to each other, these signs are enough to prove that you are in a one sided relationship. Research suggests that there are a lot of negative interactions between couples in a one sided relationship. A major problem of a one sided relationship is that the person who is fully committed in the relationship is not that satisfied because their needs aren’t being met.
6. They never return your favours
When you are in a relationship, you’ll expect several favours from your partner and vice versa. So, you being completely committed to that person will do anything and everything for your beloved. But what if you ask them for the same? And in return, you always get a ‘NO’. Sounds harsh, right? It’s true that some people have a habit of expecting more from everyone and giving away the least. They expect you to do everything for them, but they don’t want to do anything for you. This is a sign that you’re a one sided relationship.
7. You always end up apologising to them even if it is their fault
Saying sorry won’t make you small. But when you have to say it every time without any reason can be frustrating. Have you ever apologized for things that aren’t even caused by you? Or have you ever said sorry for actions that don’t affect your partner at all? Ask yourself these questions? If you feel it that you have apologized several times for no reason, it’s a sign that you are in a one sided relationship. You can’t be apologetic for what you are. And if your partner makes you feel bad for it, then it’s better to stay away from such a person. It will highly affect your self-respect and bring your morale down.
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8. They seldom or never address the problems with your relationship
No relationship is perfect. Everyone relationship goes through a rough phase, but it’s up to us how we will deal with it. If you work it out with your partner, you can save your relationship. Or else you will have a major heart-break. You will that there is something wrong in your relationship and communicate it to your partner. But instead of talking about it, your partner simply ignores you and your problems. This is a sign that you are worried about your relationship and your partner is not. Your partner is not interested in talking about it or trying to solve your problem. It shows they are least interested in you. In such a case, all you can do is either try to fix the problem all by yourself or ignore the problems altogether.
9. You feel stressed out all the time
When you are in a relationship, you want to feel safe, secure and happy about being with your beloved. But at times this doesn’t happen. You are constantly stressed out about how things are going on between you and your partner. Your relationship is making you unhappy, and you feel suffocated. You always have to prove to your partner about how much you love them. The constant efforts of showing your love leave you all stressed out all the time. It’s a sign that things are not working out, and you need to free yourself from it. A relationship which gives you constant stress is better to let it go rather than forcefully being in it.
10. They are least interested in caring for you
You start getting a feeling that your partner no more cares about you or doesn’t love you in the same way they did before. Whatever happens, your partner is least interested and is simply living in their own sweet world. It’s the truth that if you’re in a one sided relationship, your partner doesn’t care about you anymore and you start feeling it. A person caring for you will talk to you all the time, meet you, do things to make you happy, but if they don’t, it means they are no more in love with you. You can clearly see your partner’s I-don’t-care-about-you attitude and realize that it is never going to change. It’s better that you accept it soon and move on.
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11. You end up justifying your partner’s bad behaviour to others
If you are in a healthy and committed relationship, your partner will have immense respect for you. They will never do anything that may jeopardise your relationship. For example, you invite your partner for dinner at your place on a special occasion. However, they don’t make it on time, and everyone in your family is left wondering why they haven’t arrived yet. Well, you know how your partner is and won’t mind their habit of late coming, but in this case, you will be answerable to your family. So, to maintain their positive image, you have to justify your partner’s behaviour to your family.
And this isn’t just one thing; there are a lot of things for which you feel the need to justify your partner’s actions. If such things happen frequently, then surely your partner is showing least interest in you and your family. This can be one of the signs of being in a one sided relationship.
12. You fake yourself every time you are with them
Do you always have to wear a mask when you are with your partner? Do you feel like being someone you’re not in front of your partner? Ever feel your partner won’t like your original personality? If the answers to these questions are yes, then you’re definitely in a one sided relationship. What’s the use of such a relationship where you completely lose your existence just for the sake of your partner? It’s like wearing a mask all the time to please your beloved. Your life becomes a complete lie, and you are faking about each and everything. This can affect you big time. The moment you realize this, it’s time you get out such a relationship soon.
13. You share everything with your partner and know nothing about them
This can refer to every big or small thing, but it is extremely important for a relationship to survive. From sharing food, money, your feelings, even a TV remote, this is what you expect from your partner. But it’s always you who do contribute to the sharing part, but your partner doesn’t. This can be a problematic situation. You tend to share every single thing with your partner, but they do not reciprocate. Sharing stuff can bring intimacy in a relationship. Being vulnerable is extremely important; however, both persons have to be the same to strengthen the bond.
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