Why Are You Struggling With Love?

Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. Whoever experiences it can’t stop gushing about it. Being with your beloved can give you a world full of happiness. You feel safe and secure when you are with your partner. Everything seems to be beautiful. You don’t need to find reasons to be happy as happiness is surrounded all around you. Every person has a different kind of experience in love, relationships, and dating. However, sometimes these things can be a bit overwhelming. 

If love can you give tonnes of happiness, you also need to sometimes experience the pain. Having a relationship is no big deal these days. However, maintaining it for lifelong can be difficult. Sometimes things work out for couples, sometimes it doesn’t. There are many who once fail in love and lose faith. But there are many who don’t give up and gather yourself and find love again. 

The course of relationships keeps changing with times. Things were different back then. However, the whole idea of dating, having a relationship and getting married has changed in many ways. 

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Nowadays, couples are constantly struggling to keep their relationship safe. They fight to keep it going. So what’s this constant struggle? Is it because of the mindset of the two people? Or is it because of the societal pressures or is it something else? Well, these things depend upon the couple to couple. As we all know not all relationships are the same and everyone goes through different experiences. 

A very simple example of this is that we often tend to get irritated and less friendly to our environment when we are hungry. However, to fix out this problem is no big issue. Just have something and your mood will change. Much more difficult situation to solve is when our view of self-esteem needs a certain kind of balancing since the fundamental processes might not be clear to us.

So to get a deeper view on this question about what’s with all the struggling with love, let’s try to rule it out with some important things. There are many factors which can be responsible for the constant struggling with love and relationships. Here is what you should know.

1. You can’t decide what you want

This can be one thing which will keep you struggling with love. Not knowing what you want can be very frustrating at times. Also, in such a situation, it’s only you who can help yourself. If you can’t decide this, you might keep struggling. You don’t know if you want to date someone casually or have a serious relationship. You simply start dating someone and are totally unclear about your desire and expectations. By doing this, you let your partner handle the situation and here, you are left compromising. This way, you will constantly struggle and feel suffocated being in a relationship. Being real to yourself and being clear about your expectations can help you in a lot of ways. You don’t always need to go with the flow. As yourself what you want and what works for you? Once you find the answers to these questions, you’ll not struggle. 

2. You have set your priorities for the wrong things

Everyone’s perception is different from others’ in many things. You can’t expect your partner to have the same interests in everything you like. For example, you like watching horror movies, that doesn’t mean your partner will like them too. And based on this, if you think that he/she is not the right person for you, then you’re wrong. You need to place your values on the right things. Look out for things which can make your relationship last long and make your love grow. Don’t make decisions on superficial things. Instead, look out for fundamental factors like his/her views on commitments, life core values, priorities, future plans, etc. Giving yourself some time to understand the person can be very useful. Taking decisions in haste will make you regret in the future. If you and your partner expect these same things then you won’t be struggling with love.

3. You have lost your self-esteem after facing too many rejections 

This is not applicable to each and every one. However, there are many who completely give up when they face rejections. You can’t always expect a person whom you love to love you back. When you are rejected by anyone, it’s hurtful, but it’s not the end. Accepting that thing sportingly will help you. But if you lose all the confidence, you’ll never be able to find anyone and you will keep struggling with love. If someone you love rejects you that only mean that you both are not meant for each other for some reason. However, you are perfect as a person individually. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

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4. You are in a hurry to know your partner

If you are in love, that doesn’t mean you need to rush into things. Once you start dating someone, things will fall in place with time. Rushing into things will pressurize you as well as your partner. As you start spending time together, you’ll explore each other. Dating someone in a hurry and rushing them to know can ruin things. If you are expecting a lot of things from your partner but if you don’t get them, it will hurt you. Having patience is the best way to deal with such situations. Give yourself some time and your partner too to know each other. Just relax and enjoy your time. By doing this, you won’t be constantly struggling with love.

5. You believe if there is no happy ending, none of your relationships is worth it

We all fall in love with someone and expect things to work out. However, sometimes they don’t and you part ways. Things can go hunky-dory. But that’s not the end. Separation can be painful but you need to learn from it. It doesn’t mean you have wasted your time or lost anything. So what if one of your relationships didn’t have a happy ending, but it made you learn many things. You have grown as an individual and your perspective has also changed. If you find love again then you are already aware of how making it work and not repeating the same mistakes. Never lose faith in love and spread hatred. Instead, help yourself by being positive. Not all of your love stories will have a happy ending but someday, you might have one.  

6. You believe that the grass is always greener on the other side

This can be one of the reasons that you always struggle with love. For example, you have had 4 to 5 relationships and still, you’re not finding the right person. This only happens when you constantly try to find a better person. You’ll date someone then part ways to find someone who is much better than your previous partner. Well, there’s a constant struggle to be with that perfect person which leads to failure in relationships. But you should understand that no one is perfect and everyone has different qualities both good and bad. If you start comparing and date people on this basis, you’ll always end up alone. Accepting the person the way he/she is and making a few adjustments can make your relationship last long. Also, there won’t be a constant struggle to find a perfect match

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7. You lose your existence to make things work 

If you are dating someone, you take all the efforts to make things work out. You will constantly thrive to make your relationship stronger. But sometimes, you put more than extra efforts. And this happens on a regular basis. Sooner you will realize that you are compromising and adjusting too much. You tend to forget your expectations, demands, likes, and dislikes. It is all about your partner. On the other hand, your partner is enjoying all this attention and pampering. But he/she is not aware of your situation. You are constantly struggling and are not happy about it. When you compromise more than needed, there’s no love anymore, it’s more like you’re forcing yourself. And if your partner starts taking advantage of it, you’ll end up being frustrated. 

8. You give in to societal pressures 

As I mentioned earlier, relationships, love, marriage, dating can be overwhelming. Things work out for some people, while for some, it won’t. There are many people who fall in love once and spend entire life together. However, many go through many heartbreaks before they find their perfect match. Now, this doesn’t apply for the ones who are just dating. It also applies to people who are married.

As we all know relationships and marriage don’t come with a guarantee. In many cases, when a person experiences a lot of heartbreaks, or a person has gone through a failed marriage, they are constantly being judged. And by this, I mean by society. If you have experienced a lot of failed relationships or a failed marriage, it’s not that something is wrong with you. It’s just that you weren’t meant to be with that person. But society doesn’t see it in that way. They will judge you by all the means and find faults in you.

Sometimes to avoid these kinds of judgments, many of them, especially the married couples, forcibly live together. What will people say? What about my reputation? All these questions will constantly trouble you. This results in a constant struggle where there’s no love. Just compromises. You can’t see your relationship heading in the right way, but you are still together. Societal pressures can lead to depression; you don’t have guts to face the world, answer the painful questions, and hurt yourself and your partner as well. You might lose faith in love and start hating this beautiful feeling. 

9. You put too much emphasis on having a soulmate

There are many people who believe in having a soulmate. And there are some like me, who don’t believe in “that one person who makes everything right in your love life.” Does that mean I can never have a stable relationship with someone? Well, no!

Having a soulmate doesn’t mean they can be your life partner. Sometimes, you meet a person or more than one person, with whom you develop a connection. There are so much trust and compatibility that they are exactly the person you wish to have in your life. However, soulmates can just be your friends too.

A soulmate is the one who brings happiness, love, and positivity in your life. The one who will help you grow, stand beside you in your good and bad times. You can have more than one person in your life that will have these qualities. Don’t do a mistake of considering them as your life partner. There’s one special person created for every one of us in this world. If you find one, you’re lucky. If you don’t find, then accept it that you are destined to be alone forever. This is how it works. If you accept this fact, you won’t be struggling with love ever in your life.

We all fall in love and want to live a dreamy life which is full of happiness. However, sometimes in search of such happiness which you might not be destined to, you keep struggling with your relationship. This creates problems for you and your partner.

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Constant fights, arguments, lack of compatibility, disagreements can make things worse. If you are truly in love with someone, you don’t need to struggle. And if you are struggling, it means there is something wrong. Both you and your partner need to discuss the problem and try to solve it. In such a situation, both you and your partner need to take equal efforts to make your relationship work. However, in spite of trying hard to mend things, if it still doesn’t work. Then it’s best for you to part ways mutually and move on with your life. This way you won’t hurt yourself and your partner as well.

So folks, if you fall in love, make sure you are with the right person and not struggling to keep your relationship alive. And if you would like to share your struggles with us, write them down in the comment section below for your fellow writers!